her vagine was all disorganized.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
