Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
