how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
