What did we do last night that was yellow?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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