Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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