i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
