We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize