he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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