I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
The struggles of a small town man whore
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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