who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
