when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
