I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
