just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
