Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
