mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
