We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
