i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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