idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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