its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize