just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
