Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
