Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
