We won't sleep together?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
