I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
