We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
