at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
