thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
