Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
