i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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