HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize