Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
