You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
