I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
this hospital has no fireball
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
