Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize