their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Also, beer. Big fan.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
