Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
