a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
