i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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