it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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