Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
