Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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