butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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