I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Is Oprah even human
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
