ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
