he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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