I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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