I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
