New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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