i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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