If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
