I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
