He is an equal opportunity slut.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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