I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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