We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
