dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
