i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
