It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I look better un-naked...
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
They took my balls.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
