You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
