This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Welp...herpes.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
