if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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