what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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