The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize