I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Soap is not a condiment
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
